Sunday, February 13, 2011

Lithuania is the best country because...

…we care how Germans maintain their cars. We know that 10 years later we will ride those cars.
…we get angry when plumber comes drunk, but we still pay him a bottle of vodka. 
…only in Lithuania on every Christmas for 15 years in a row “Home Alone” is on TV.
…we have epic past, shameful present and obscure future.
…when you are going by car at top allowable speed you are stopping the traffic.
…vacations in Palanga (resort near the Baltic Sea) are more expensive than in Turkey.
…it doesn’t matter how many passangers are in a minibus, there is always enough room for one more.
…tourists in Lithuania think Maxima X X X is a porn shop.
…Lithuania is a second country in the world by the level of corruption because we gave a bribe not to be first.
…we have many shaved head guys, who cares about your problems. Whenever they see you, they ask: “What's your problem???”
…in Lithuania you can buy a cell phone for 1 litas, pay 0 cents per minute for your calls and at the end of the month get three-figure bill.
…in Lithuania 2000 baseball bats and only 2 baseball gloves are sold in a year.

…the biggest joy for Lithuanian is to teach foreigner to swear in Lithuanian.
…retired people in Lithuania spend their vacations watching through windows.
…we curse Lithuania awfully, but we never let any foreigner to say anything bad about it!!!
…Lithuanians go to Latvia to buy Lithuanian fuel and to Poland to buy Lithuanian sausage.
…in Lithuania those, who you outride, are stupid and those, who outride you, are eagles.
…we make more kebabs than Turkey.
…it’s not important who wins: Lithuania or Poland. Half of  Vilnius is still happy.
…a person living in Palanga, can win a trip to Palanga by lottery.
…after first class most popular question among students is: will you go to classes for second time?
…students in Lithuania has more expensive cars than their professors.
…only in Lithuania TV series which normally are 30 minutes long, take an hour on TV.
…only in Lithuania journalists solve more criminal mysteries than criminalists, and criminalists often use information gathered by journalists when they investigate cases.
…in Lithuania policemen makes 1000 litas in a month and 3000 litas in a day.
…if you murder someone, you have to wait for room in jail.
…most people who drive newest and most expensive cars are disabled.

5 comments:

Gene said...

I enjoyed that alot!

Agne said...

I'm happy you enjoyed! Do you have something to add why Lithuania is the best country? :D

Gene said...

Hmmm...how about this:

Lithuania is the best country because the pigs have no ears. They all got eaten!

Agne said...

Good one!

Pandu said...

I am from Indonesia, i am coming to Lithuania next year and i enjoyed this post a lot :)